“Confidence. We all want it, but we don’t always know how to get it.” This statement is so true and I’m confident when I say all of us struggle with it from time to time. That’s why I want to share with you 5 tips that help me to be confident and keep on going strong, so you can get inspired and be your most confident self as well! On this day and age where we’re surrounded by social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of the comparison game. We get sad and depressed because our closets don’t look like such and such, or perhaps we haven’t traveled as much as someone else. Or, in my case, the fact that motherhood is not always a bliss and I feel like the worse mom on the planet. I’ll tell you what, it’s important to ask ourselves what is it that we want from life. And WRITE IT DOWN! More on that a little later…
I’ve partnered with Evereve, a contemporary and styling company, to bring you this post. Their co-founder and CEO Megan Tamte, created the store to make life easier for moms and busy women out there. Trained Evereve stylists analyze the lifestyle of each and every woman who walks into the store and offer them pieces that will make their lives practical in whatever stage of life they find themselves in.
Before I dive into my tips on how to be confident, I have to share some of my rough paths so you can understand how I got to where I am now. I apologize if you’ve heard some of these before. In 2007, I had three kids under 3 at the age of 27– it was one of the hardest years of my life. I went from having friends and a social life to being home nursing, feeding babies, changing diapers, cleaning up messes, doing laundry for three babies (can you imagine? Haha) and chasing toddlers so they wouldn’t kill themselves by climbing the wobbly entertainment system we used to have in our living room. I know it was our choice to have babies, I just wasn’t fully prepared to what that entailed and missed feeling like myself again, getting ready in the morning (or at night), having a meal without interruption, or even having 30 minutes a day for myself without hearing the words: mommy, mommy, mommy!
When my third baby came along. I told my husband I wanted to pursue my dream of going to Fashion Design school. He knew I needed a creative outlet outside of the home. Let me just say I know we’re not all the same and some moms would kill to stay home with their kids, I commend them for that. Everything was just so intense for me at the age of 25-27.
I went to fashion school happy as happy can be and I thrived, I became a straight-A student (a first for me) because I LOVED going to school and feeling like a “normal person”. After 4 years of juggling motherhood and school, we no longer could afford to pay out of pocket for my pretty darn expensive education. I went back to work in luxury retail as a salesperson and started a blog with my best friend Kris. I was clueless about the process and what it took to have a blog but I was knowledgeable about fashion and had my creative juices flowing. So, together we started our first blog, Moda Indy. Myself as the “Fashion Director” and her as the “Editor in Chief”. Long story short we had some great successes but there was something missing for me. I wanted the blog to be an expression of myself and my sense of style and inspire people to dress and have fun with fashion. Kris, on the other hand, was getting busier and busier at her day job and couldn’t keep up with the blog, so we parted ways and that’s when Karina Style Diaries was born.
My new blog took me on a path of searching for my own style and beauty routine while blogging about fashion and beauty, and naturally incorporating inspiration from others here and there also helped me build what now is my unique point of view in fashion, style, and beauty techniques that work for me and my readers.
Fast forward 4 years, I decided to make my blog my full-time job and career but had NO IDEA how I would make that happen. Then in December 2017, I found the 5-minute journal. Which brings me to my first tip on how to be confident, turn your dreams into reality and stay strong:
I started the journal last year. I wrote every day how grateful I was for being able to blog for a living and how amazing it was to have a purpose in this blogging journey. Around April 2018, I tracked my earnings and knew I would be able to quit my day job as an assistant teacher to blog full time by summer break and still contribute with insurance for my family of 5. What I didn’t expect was a breast cancer diagnosis a month later, just short of quitting my job. I must confess, I was more upset at the possibility of having to delay my dream once again than the actual cancer itself. Wasn’t really scared. I was in a place in my life that I knew I was going to be ok and I was eager to share my cancer journey with my readers. And help other women going through the same diagnosis.
Today, I find myself blogging full time (despite cancer shenanigans). I created a routine to hear God as well as study his word and pray/talk to God every day, sometimes multiple times a day.
2. Set Your Priorities Straight. Once in a business class, I heard a professor state her priorities as a tip to nail a job interview. They were:
And I thought WOW that’s exactly how I want to live by. Unfortunately, life gets in the way and we get our priorities twisted. Cancer made me see life through different eyes and I know I needed that to shape the woman I’m becoming. Now I’m on the path of making work the 4th on my list and allowing myself to R E S T. We can’t be confident and strong when we’re tired and stressed.
3. Be Grateful: “Take a few minutes each morning to make a list of three to five things you appreciate. This requires only a moment and it helps you cultivate a habit of gratitude. When we’re caught up in our day-to-day routine, we easily overlook the people and things we appreciate. A daily reminder can give us a much-needed happiness boost while also putting us in the gratitude mindset.” – Forbes Leadership
This is the same concept as the 5-minute journal. Simply means when you know the amazing things you have in life (it could be as simple as a warm bed, a roof over your head, a homecooked meal, loving parents or good friends) you instantly become more confident and joyful and that attracts more joy and confidence too, try it!
4. Know Who You Are and Own it: Being yourself is the best option out there, simply because there’s absolutely no one else like you. And that my friends, is power! We might need to do some soul searching. Some of us (hello blogger friends) go through that search under the eyes of thousands, perhaps millions of people. But regardless of how you find yourself, allow yourself to be it. Also, allow yourself growth, people change and evolve, we must change too!
Trust the process, things we go through in life build character and shape who we are. I’ve had lots of jobs that were less than glamorous. Grocery store cashier, movie rental store clerk, and in retail I lost count of how many clothes I picked off the floors of fitting rooms. Not all of us are nice enough to put them on a bench…hint, hint, and how many shoes I put on women’s feet.
They are all a part of me and brought me to where I am with a humble heart because I’ve been there, done that. Trusting the process doesn’t mean don’t do anything to change, but instead do what is within your reach and let things happen.
5. You Are What You Wear: This may seem a bit harsh for some of us to hear. But let me ask you something: when you are dressed well (not necessarily designer, expensive things, but clean, steamed, well-fitted clothes), have your hair done and maybe a little makeup on, do you feel amazingly confident? Like you can conquer the world?
Or have you thought about how you would dress, if you would have a meeting with your boss, or pitch a deal to a new client?
Would you roll out of bed and go out, or would you take the time to select something nice and perhaps shower? That’s what I mean by you are what you wear, after all, you never have a second chance to make a first impression, make them count every day! Caring about the way you look is truly caring about yourself.
That’s what I love about Evereve. If you’re in a season of your life where you have no time to think about your closet they are there to help, not in a traditional retail way (you must experience the in-store shopping). Their stylists are trained to understand every woman’s lifestyle and body type and make suggestions to go along with pieces you selected or help you from scratch if you’re really lost in where to even start. If you have been through a body transition (aka body after kiddos, or college stress weight gain or loss), they are there to help you figure out what works for your new body type as well.
Blanck NYC suede jacket // Sub Urban Riot tee sold out (similar) // 7 for all Mankind ankle skinny with angle hem jeans // Sam Edelman Lewellyn slides
I’d love to know if this resonates with any of you and in what ways. Also, do any of these tips on how to stay confident ring true to you? Let’s get the confidence convo started and chat about how to help build one another!